spiritual emergency or going fucking bat shit crazy?

I have recently been drawn to the work on Christina and Stan Grof. Their book is all about "spiritual emergency" and the dark night of the soul. I have spoken to many people on the other side of benzo withdrawal, and one man said to me, "this is spiritual my friend, this is spiritual". All have given me hope that this dark journey will have light and deep transformation at the end of it. It's grueling, I am not going to lie. Grueling. Depersonalization, derealization, terror, blind terror waking you up in the night, and mind you, I am still tapering... I will get into those details soon. I have also noticed that all of my underlying conflicts, all the demons I have wrestled with and tucked away are rearing their ugly head. I have no off switch. The other night I experienced a kundalini like experience in my sleep. I had surges of energy coursing up my spine to my crown and down the front and I was literally shaking shaking shaking in tremors for what felt like hours. Not to mention seeing visions and hearing voices. Friends, I have no prior mental health history. Just neurotic anxiety. This shit is crazy time, I actually surrendered to it and let myself just shake and shake in this half wake/sleep state. I had had intense anxiety that day and I think my body needed to discharge all of that energy. I hope there is a greater purpose in this all.... we will find out. I am almost half way through my taper and managing to crawl thru my life but not doing it very well. I haven't laughed much since this whole ordeal but I recommend distraction--- comedy, movies, books, walking, anything to ground you and remind you of who you want to become.