madness and sanity

Fighting through today. I look and act normal. I go to the store. I make lunch for my children. I drive, carry groceries. Feelings and sensations are arising. Agitation. I am sleeping thank god. I am doing this. I am getting off this poison even though I burn burn burn. Ignore the symptoms. Ignore. 

I went to check out a kundalini teacher and asked her for some sage advice. She said walk a lot, soak your feet in hot water. I am walking and walking and walking endlessly. I have so much energy to burn and no energy at all. I feel depleted. But I am fighting.
I am having a bit of a pity party today but trying to pull myself out of it. I have a little of the WHY me? I have a need to write the doctor who prescribed this yet another letter. I don't know that I will as it's not worth it. I just want to make sure this never happens to anyone again, yet I know it's happening everywhere and much worse. 
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The kundalini teacher had us recite a protective prayer---

Aad Gurey Nameh- left infinite
Jugaad Gurey Nameh-behind time guru
Sat Gurey Nameh-Right-Truth
Siri Guru Dev-ey Nameh Before-Infinite Guru
We had to do this as we raised our hands in prayer above our head over and over again. She said don't do it for more than 11 minutes.
I am all over the place in my interests and am looking for answers and relief. I know they are within me and nowhere out there but I feel the need to keep searching. Ahhhh!!! Benzo warriors keep up the fight.