Benzo breakthrough
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Resources
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Resources

90 days!!!!

6/3/2018

1 Comment

 
90 days FREE of benzodiazepines.
90 days free of that tiny little pill that turned my life upside down.
90 days free from the chemical benzo  prison
90 days! 
I take 7 pills per day still. 
I'm duct taped together for now. No one sees it, but I feel it each step I take.

7 pills away from total chemical freedom
7 pills away from feeling my feelings again
7 pills away from being able to work
7 pills away from being able to parent again regularly and consistently
7 pills away from hiking up long mountain trails
7 pills away from sweating hard in a yoga class, feeling that relief and surrender in the end
7 pills away from these chemical hijakers
7 pills away from feeling love, joy again
7 pills away from feeling rest
7 pills away from sleeping soundly
7 pills away from relaxing gently 
7 pills away from no longer being so impulsive
7 pills away from regaining patience
​7 pills away from not acting like a monster sometimes
7 pills away from being responsible and capable again 

What will be left is the question.

For now, I am awake at 1 am. 
I've felt like I have had the stomach flu all day and the only thing that helps ( and I'm grateful I can do this) is walking alone listening to music.
My energy is so intense I need to keep walking and walking and walking.
I don't want to stop walking because when I do my reality comes crashing into me.

Grateful for my walks.
I'm grateful for new connections and friends
I'm grateful for my children, even if they don't know me the way I want them to.
Yes, this is hell each and every day. But just like if one would get locked up in prison, we must  adapt.

​Adapt and soldier on.

​

1 Comment
nicole
7/21/2018 09:39:27 am

wow- im stating to write as well and it helps sooo much... i find comfort in your words knowing im not alone.. you are really wonderful writer ..aloha

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    Someone who found themselves accidentally dependent and suffered an iatrogenic injury from medications that were prescribed. Sharing experience, strength and hope with others.  This is written as a person on this winding path and NOT as a professional. Please contact a licensed professional for any medical/psychological care or advice. This is NOT a substitute for medical or psychological care. What is written here reflects my own personal experience ONLY.

    Archives

    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016

    Categories

    All
    AKATHISIA
    Beauty
    BENZO BUDDIES
    Benzo Withdrawal
    DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL
    Death
    Distraction
    Dopamine Rush
    EXERCISE
    FAMILY
    FUN
    GRATITUDE
    HEALING
    HELP
    Isolation
    Kundalini Awakening
    LAUGHTER
    Life
    LONELINESS
    Neural Retraining
    NUTRITION
    Parenting
    Positivity
    Recovery
    Relationships
    RETRAINING THE BRAIN
    TRAUMA
    Travel

    RSS Feed