Far away

It's been almost a month since I have posted anything. I was recovering from an illness only to be hit again with another one. I became despondent. I am grateful to be feeling better. This is certainly traumatic. I wish I didn't see it that way. I see it other ways too-- I see the silver lining, the spiritual gifts, the fact that I am self -caring more than ever because I have no choice. 
I am grateful for the little things. The fact that I can sit still, The fact that I can pick my children up from school and today, went to do something fun with them. I learned today of a friend of a friend that discovered she has stage 4 cancer. I am grateful that this isn't that. This isn't fun. No, it's hideous, and hidden and brutal. But it isn't that. I am grateful for each moment that I am closer to healing. All of my benzo buddies say... "Healing is happening, healing is happening". I hope so, I really really do.