I am pumped up thinking about the possibility to help others and raise awareness. It is very frustrating when the mind is ready to move on and heal but the body is not yet ready to cooperate.
I talked with a fellow traveler today and we are at around the same level in our taper. His taper is becoming unmanageable and he's ready to quit his job and thinking about the possibility of going to some retreat like center. Anyone have any ideas about where to go once off for healing? Besides a rehab that costs 60 grand? I came across the website of the Spiritual Emergence Center and I think it's spot on. When we talked he said in his southern accent.. "yes, this is a spiritual emergency". But with benzos he instructed me to first get off then come down for healing. I am curious how they work there. Grounding and processing a lot I imagine. I will keep you all posted. Yesterday was a hideous day because it was the end of my work week and I was operating on very little sleep. Today was my day off and I got to spend it on my own. I feel so much guilt about not being able to handle my parenting responsibilities at the moment. Yesterday in a heated moment of self-pity I said " I want to kill that doctor that prescribed this to me". My normally very mild mannered husband agreed. He said, " I want to kill him too".
I am trying my best to focus my attention elsewhere....music, comedy, walking, reading, meditating, praying, waiting patiently and most of all surrendering.
Someone who found themselves accidentally dependent and suffered an iatrogenic injury from medications that were prescribed. Sharing experience, strength and hope with others. This is written as a person on this winding path and NOT as a professional. Please contact a licensed professional for any medical/psychological care or advice. This is NOT a substitute for medical or psychological care. What is written here reflects my own personal experience ONLY.