90 days FREE of benzodiazepines.
90 days free of that tiny little pill that turned my life upside down. 90 days free from the chemical benzo prison 90 days! I take 7 pills per day still. I'm duct taped together for now. No one sees it, but I feel it each step I take. 7 pills away from total chemical freedom 7 pills away from feeling my feelings again 7 pills away from being able to work 7 pills away from being able to parent again regularly and consistently 7 pills away from hiking up long mountain trails 7 pills away from sweating hard in a yoga class, feeling that relief and surrender in the end 7 pills away from these chemical hijakers 7 pills away from feeling love, joy again 7 pills away from feeling rest 7 pills away from sleeping soundly 7 pills away from relaxing gently 7 pills away from no longer being so impulsive 7 pills away from regaining patience 7 pills away from not acting like a monster sometimes 7 pills away from being responsible and capable again What will be left is the question. For now, I am awake at 1 am. I've felt like I have had the stomach flu all day and the only thing that helps ( and I'm grateful I can do this) is walking alone listening to music. My energy is so intense I need to keep walking and walking and walking. I don't want to stop walking because when I do my reality comes crashing into me. Grateful for my walks. I'm grateful for new connections and friends I'm grateful for my children, even if they don't know me the way I want them to. Yes, this is hell each and every day. But just like if one would get locked up in prison, we must adapt. Adapt and soldier on.
1 Comment
nicole
7/21/2018 09:39:27 am
wow- im stating to write as well and it helps sooo much... i find comfort in your words knowing im not alone.. you are really wonderful writer ..aloha
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AuthorSomeone who found themselves accidentally dependent and suffered an iatrogenic injury from medications that were prescribed. Sharing experience, strength and hope with others. This is written as a person on this winding path and NOT as a professional. Please contact a licensed professional for any medical/psychological care or advice. This is NOT a substitute for medical or psychological care. What is written here reflects my own personal experience ONLY. Archives
November 2018
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